It Was Birdicide

So, I am on my way to football practice to pick up the boys. Just drivin', singin' along to the radio, mindin' my own beeswax. I notice sitting on the right side of the road, a beautiful, huge hawk. I thought, "Wow, isn't he pretty." and a random thought about how I haven't seen one in, like, forever. When all of a sudden, he spreads his great wings and takes to flight. Right into the middle of the road. I thought, "He'd better hurry, I'm gonna hit him," then, "NO! NO! NO!" It was like he was hovering right in front of my grill. Then we made contact. BAM! He bounced up onto the hood, right up against the front window on the passenger side. I'm gripping the steering wheel like it's trying to escape, my shoulders crunched up to my ears, and squinting my eyes. Like any of that is going to change the fact that a truly majestic bird is now sliding up my windshield, one wing straight up in the air. He reached the top and fell off onto the side of the road. If I hadn't been late picking up the boys, I would have stopped, though what I could do at this point is beyond me. When I got to the practice field, I checked the front end of the van to see if he'd dented it or left feathers or something. I mean, the bird was HUGE, so it was a distinct possibility. No damage could be seen, so I guess that's good. This whole time, I keep thinking, "I killed a hawk. I'm a bird killer. I'm gonna go to Hell for murder!" Okay, I didn't really think that last one, but I was feeling very guilty. As it turned out, practice ran over by about 10 minutes, so I wasn't late after all. By the time I got the boys loaded up in the van and started heading back, I decided, I wanted to drive by the scene of the heinous accident and see if maybe, if by some miracle, the bird was just stunned and had flown off. Nope. Still lying motionless on the side of the road. I slowed waaay down and was considering stopping when a car coming from the other direction pulled over in front of him and stopped. Well, I didn't want to admit to anybody that I was the one who destroyed such a beautiful part of nature, so I sped back up and moved on. I don't know if somebody moved him off the road or if animal control came and got him, but he wasn't there when I took Tristan to practice the next day.
So, I am trying to console myself, saying that he committed suicide because of the way he hovered in front of the car like that. I mean, hawks are smart, right? He must have wanted me to hit him, right? Right? Right?