My Morbid Mind

Tomorrow, I will be going to my 4th funeral in less than a year. The first was a bittersweet goodbye to a woman who had been fighting Cancer for the past several years. All while trying to help her husband with Parkinson's Disease and raise 4 daughters under the age of 19. While I mourned for her family and their loss, I felt such a relief knowing that her pain was finally over. It was also amazing to watch her family and to see their strength with their knowledge and understanding of the Plan of Salvation! The next was for Ty's Grandma. While I was sad for the loss of her in our lives, she had been missing her wonderful husband for over 10 years. I still smile and get a little teary-eyed when I think of their reunion in Heaven! The third was for a young friend of my son's. 13 years old. It was completely unexpected. She died in a tragic boating accident. The one I'm going tomorrow is one I am still trying to digest. He was an old friend from my high school days. We went to different schools, but through a mutual friend, I met this great guy and we hung out as a group a lot, doing everything from hitting semi-local dance clubs to his introducing me to the Highlander movie to watching the 4th of July fireworks in a hotel room full of other kids. We lost touch after his mission, but I still thought about him from time to time. I loved hearing through mutual friends about all his travels. His death is senseless to me and I just don't understand. I hurt for him and what he must have been going through. I hurt for his family who is left behind to pick up the pieces. However, my testimony of Heavenly Father's Plan has grown through each of these good-byes. I know that everything will be taken care of according to His will and that we have nothing to fear. I know that the questions I have now, the whys and why nows will be answered when I return to my Heavenly Home. So, for that, I am truly thankful.
All of these good-byes have also got me thinking about other things. Weird things. Things I wonder if other people think about. It's also got me thinking about my funeral. I know, weird, right? But, I think Ty has gotten used to sentences that start with, "When I die..." Now, before anybody gets panicky, I don't plan on dying for a VERY long time, so this is not a cry for help. It's just the way my morbid mind works. So, here's my list:
1st~ my brother, who is in Germany serving in the USAF can't make it to our friend's funeral tomorrow for obvious reasons. So, he asked me to order some flowers to show the family that he is in their thoughts. I began searching for the perfect arrangement and found something out. Flowers are WICKED EXPENSIVE!!! I always knew that I didn't want a lot of flowers at my funeral, but now I'm sure of it. I don't want people to spend their hard-earned money on something that will be pretty for a few days and then end up in a compost heap. I always thought that potted plants would be a nice alternative for people who really feel that flowers are what you're supposed to give at a funeral, but after watching my mother in law and her sisters trying to find homes for the plethora of plants sent to Grandma Tolman, my mind has changed on that part. (Plus, I have never been able to keep a plant alive in my life. Wouldn't it be kind of silly to expect be to be able to after?) So, I hope that if people wish to "honor my memory" or let my family know they are thinking about us or anything like that, I hope that they will make a donation to their favorite charity. Whether it's St Jude's Children's hospital, or Save the Whales, or the Humane Society, or whatever, as long as it's something they care about, then that's the PERFECT way to show respect!
2nd~ Anybody who knows me knows I don't do well sitting still. I don't want some somber wake with people milling around looking sad. I want the music pumping. And I'm not talking about "appropriate" organ music from the hymnal or "funeral director's handbook" or whatever it is they use. In fact, just bring my iPod and a dock and I'll be happy!
3rd~ This one is related to the 2nd. Don't be mopey! Laugh, dang it! Tell happy stories. Remember the good times. Laugh Laugh Laugh!!!
4th~ I guess this could have gone with #1, but for decorations, instead of tons of flowers everywhere, 2-3 pretty arrangements will be great. Then, display things I love. Photo albums of my kids growing up. My Mama Leach's quilt. The yo-yo quilt my mom made for My wedding to Ty. Beautiful artwork. Some of my favorite books. Stuff like that.
5th~ I LOVE the Mexican tradition of "Día de Muertos", but Ty has already put the nix on that one, so I guess I lose there.
However, 4 out of 5 ain't bad!
So, there you have it: the ingredients to Jennifer's Perfect Funeral! It's not that I don't think that traditional funerals are bad in any way. They're just not me. I've always marched to a different drummer and I plan on marching that way all the way into my Father's arms! So, in 50 or 60 years when you're at my Perfect Funeral, know that it's exactly the way I wanted it. Oh, and have some yummy funeral potatoes for me!!!